the enemy within -- it's quite popular!

Knowing how much I believe in the power of resistance and how it prevents our growth and success, a dear friend recommended the book The Enemy Within -- Conquering the Dark Side by Mark L. Prophet and Elizabeth Claire Prophet.

So, as I often do, I went to Amazon and entered "The Enemy Within" as a book name to do a search on.

No kidding: the first page returned 1-12 books with that name, out of 29,949 results!!!

Good Lord, you don't need me to interpret the meaning of that, right?

It's pandemic: we all have dark sides within that torture us and hold us back. Have you ever stopped to look at how detrimental your own resistance is? Have you ever noticed how much energy you expend denying acknowledgement of that "dark side"???

In the work I do with clients, this is a univeral theme, with powerful results.

This is such a huge topic, I can really only briefly touch the surface in this tiny space provided by a blog. Here's the bottom line:

Stop resisting that enemy. Consider the wisdom on the threshhold of your mind. Notice what happens when you open yourself to heretofore considered "negative" emotions. Just pause a moment. Observe. And see what nuggets are there.

This is very powerful, if you'll allow yourself to see it.

For many of my clients, they resist success (yes, success), because they don't want to "make other people feel bad." Or they don't want to "appear cocky." Or they don't want to "be selfish." Just sit with those concepts for a little while. There's both wisdom and "ridiculousness" in that perspective.

For other clients, they resist feeling rejection or being hurt -- and they never take risks or "ask for the order." (Which, of course, means they never get the order either!)

Fascinating.

And Amazon evidently has some 29 thousand products that reference this topic. ...Lest you think I'm the only one encountering this...

So, what are you resisting???

feast or famine -- who and HOW are you?

It's a simple, common reality.

When we are in the midst of a feast (of revenue and new business), we are so busy doing things. We are so busy processing business. We are so busy servicing clients. We are even so busy "cashing checks at the bank" (which should be a good thing)...

...we are so busy managing the feast, that we forget to be grateful.

We miss out on the mindfulness and appreciation of how awesome things are. All that work to get the feast, and we miss out on the wonderfulness.

And then, when things slow down enough to have time to appreciate -- what do we do? We bemoan and feel down about the famine. We wish it were busier. We wish business was better.

Don't we?

It's human nature!!

Our authentic and alive, wiser selves, however, call us to be grateful in both places -- feast or famine. They both have sweetness to them.

Ask yourself: Am I remembering to be grateful for what's here, right now? Am I actively enjoying the journey? Or am I just waiting to be happy when _________ (you fill in the blank)? Am I telling myself I'll breathe when I land the next big sale? Am I convinced it'll be better when healthier cashflow returns?

It's easy for the waiting pattern to become a habitual way of life.

Hit the big giant Pause Button of Life -- and take a look around. We all have much, so much, to be grateful for.

What are YOU grateful for?

Start looking and I predict you'll either enhance your enjoyment of your current feast, or you'll realize what you thought was a famine, actually is full of "feast-ness" after all. You just needed to look around to see it!!

Enjoy.

it's all in your perspective

The majority of the clients I coach are not in my home area of Minneapolis/St. Paul.

Not only are they all around the country, but many times -- even after years of coaching -- I've never met a client in person.

It's a fascinating experience to know someone so well, yet never see the whites of their eyes. Initially, you may think, "How could you possibly coach someone when you can't see their non-verbal or really know who they are?!"

The reality is, there is plenty of non-verbal that can be "read" over the phone. Even body movements can be "read." The tone of voice, the breath, the timing of speech (think about what impact it has when someone is silent, or someone interrupts...)

Yesterday, I was working with a very bright and successful client -- who is extraordinarily witty and sharp -- when I asked him if he could send me a photo of a recent marketing piece he ordered.

He sent that photo to me. And then he also attached a photo and said, "In case you've ever wondered what I look like, I've also attached self image photo that I took on a golf course recently."

I asked his permission to share that photo with you.

Funny, right?

That's all for today, no huge nuggets of wisdom...just a little humor for your Friday morning.

feeling drained? check your version!

Last week I had the genuine pleasure of being part of a conference for a group of Ameriprise Financial advisors. After four hours of sleep, I gave a presentation on The Power of Authenticity.
I was one of six presenters, firing information at a group of advisors, one presenter after another, with no breaks.

After lunch and a couple more presentations, we went golfing -- it was a mid-80's, high humidity, sunny afternoon. Ever the serving speaker, I fulfilled my client's offer (request, really) that I have a couple beers as we golfed. (Sarcasm intended.)

Then we rushed back to the conference facility. Had dinner. Rushed off for a quick shower. Back for more drinks. Had fascinating and fun fireside conversations (debating the merits of Kathy Bates and Johnny Depp).

When I found myself at 12:30 a.m., nearly 24 hours after I first woke up -- fully energized. I did NOT want to go to bed.

Why?

Because I'm a flaming extravert!!

What could be more energizing than being around people ALL...DAY...LONG?!?!

...unless, of course, you're an introvert.

How and where do you get your energy?

In a nutshell, each of us has a general preference for gaining energy: either from ouside ourselves in the external world of people, activities, and things. Or from one's inner world of ideas, emotions, and impressions.*

If your work (and indeed your life) is draining you and/or is less productive than you'd like, you may need to look no further than to the source of your energy.

It just may be that simple.

Back to the story...

So, what did I do that night after being up nearly 24 hours? I went to bed, of course. And woke up six hours later -- fully energized and ready for another full day of people, activities and things.

Ah...the life of a flaming extravert. It's all good...

*Life Types, Sandra Hirsh & Jean Kummerow, NY, NY: Warner Books, Inc., 1989

have you ever tried to sort your books?

It's been at least five years. And there they all are on multiple bookshelves in our house. Just teasing me to categorize them.

They torture and taunt me to try to sort them in a way that makes it easy to grab that one book I'm looking for, to share with someone, or reference something, real quickly.

And each time I can't find one, I vow that this will be the week I'll get them all sorted away.

It happened again this morning. I wanted a book to reference something about the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. It took a few minutes, but in the end, I found one book on my personal shelf, and one on my business shelf. When the challenge occurred to me:

What, exactly, is the line of distinction between "personal" and "business"???

I've always approached coaching from a Whole Life perspective, believing, as Harv Ecker says(Secrets of the Millionaire Mind): the way you do anything is the way you do everything.

We are not part family, part work, part physical, part spiritual, part financial, etc. Rather, we are all of those simultaneously. We are always a spouse/life partner, child, parent, sibling, cousin -- it doesn't matter that we're at the office at the time. And we are always business owner, sales person, executive -- it doesn't matter if we're at our niece's birthday party at the time.

Now, let me be clear: I'm not a proponent of think about work all the time...there IS a time for work and a time for play.

Or am I?

I'm as big of a fan of Dan Sullivan's Free, Focus, Buffer as the next person. But the litmus test differentiating between productive thoughts and destructive obsession is the impact on your energy.

One example is from a recent blog post where I told you about my 5 yr old son selling gold rocks on a Sunday. I was completely energized by the recognition that he was authentically selling and it provided a rich parallel to Forte's business. My vote: productive thought.

On the other hand, when, on a Saturday night, I think about all the work to be done to produce our next series of public seminars -- and it drains me, now we've crossed over into destructive obsession.

I've often heard about the challenge of "how to turn it (work thoughts) off" -- and I'd love to hear thoughts from those who read this...it's a challenge that faces all of us.

My litmus test is "impact on energy" -- does it energize me, or drain me.

What's yours?

Oh yah, back to the books: they're still there. They're still not fully sorted. They're still in two different places: loosely sorted personal and business. For now, that gives me energy, reminding me that we are all whole beings, made up of many different parts.

To us! ...all of us!!

you can't do THAT in new york city, can you?

Sometimes profound messages come in simple packages (and short blog posts)...

My setup is complete at my outdoor table for one at Panera Cafe: nutritious soup, milk (we need it for our bones, Girls), Harry Connick, Jr. on MP3 (who says you can't mix romance and work), laptop, notebook and papers all here for my processing and perusal...

But no spoon. [It's tough to eat soup with a fork and knife.]

So I say to the two women at the table by me, "Mug anyone if they try to take my purse or laptop, ok?" They smile and say, "You got it."

And off I go -- inside to find a spoon.

Upon return, I say, "You can't do that in New York City, can you?" To which they smile and say, "No, you can't!"

Did you see the message? Did you get the lesson?

Sometimes I want to live in a home in a rural area where I can get twice the property and twice the land for half the cost.

And sometimes I want to live in NYC, where the urban energy is unlike anywhere else.

And then on a gorgeous, blue sky, 72 degree night in a suburb of Minneapolis, I realize I've got it pretty good right where I am.

And there's the lesson: gratitude. Nothing more. Nothing less.

gold rocks for $10.25!

There he was...our toe-headed, 5-year old handsome son. And we thought his big sister, with her outgoing personality, was going to be the sales person.

Perhaps we were wrong.

Everything you need to learn about authentic and effective sellling you can learn from this 5-year-old boy.

But before you dismiss the possibility of gaining wisdom from such a pint-size leader, listen up, 'cuz he has some great pointers to share. Here's how he did it...

With all the conviction, energy and confidence of a person new in business and on fire to bring their product to the world-at-large -- he grabs his pint-size folding chair and a TV tray and sets up his "booth" on the front-lawn. It doesn't matter that there's construction on our street, and it's completely stripped down to the dirt, with "Road Closed" signs on either end. He's got "gold rocks for sale for $10.25!"

Those of us in business for at least five years could be reminded of that energy comes from young, "newbie" enthusiasm. It didn't matter he hadn't had lunch yet. It didn't matter it was 85 degrees and he was still wearing pants from church. He was going to sell "gold rocks for $10.25" for goodness sake!

No one drove by. (Remember: the street is completely ripped up. Virtually unpassable.)

That didn't matter. He still had his conviction and his rocks!

We encouraged him to consider a different street. Nope. He was going to do it in front of his own house, thank you very much.

We encouraged him to make a sign, so his "patrons" would know exactly what he was selling and for how much.

Fortunately for him (and us!) he was open to feedback. He listened. And after a bit of reflection, he "hired" his 9-yr-old big sister to design a sign marketing his product.

She happily complied with his request. Ever the customer service focused graphic artist that she is.

We encouraged him to consider what people would be willing to pay for one of his gold rocks. Perhaps $10.25 was a bit steep, more than the market would bear. [Keep in mind these were truly rocks, which had been spray-painted gold by his pre-school teacher, who then gave them out on St. Patrick's Day last year.]

He maintained his conviction: $10.25 was the price for a gold rock.

My husband, Doug, offered him 50 cents for one. Nope: "$10.25, Dad. Take it or leave it."

Doug and I, both veteran sales people with bruises and scars to prove it, continued to provide sales training to our little soon-to-be-kindergartener.

Again, he took the feedback and modified his plan.

Whew! He revised his signage and offered the rocks for 75 cents and he threw in a cookie and a cup of koolaid to sweeten the deal.

We bought some.

Next we did a little behind the scenes cold-calling on his behalf, and the neighbors started coming out. By that time, he was also offering freshly popped, buttered popcorn in paper bags for 50 cents. Or you could get the rock, a cookie, some kool-aid and the popcorn, all for a dollar!!

He ended up making over seven dollars in about 30 minutes' time. That's 14 bucks an hour, or about $28K a year, tax free. Not bad, Little Guy, keep it up and Mom and Dad may soon be knocking at your door looking for a job!!

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In summary, here's what Graham, the 5-yr-old gold-rock selling superstar did:

1. He authentically declared his value proposition.
2. He went out looking for his target market.
3. He marketed (in this case including advertising and cold calling (but don't ever tell him we did that)).
4. He listened to his prospects and future clients and adjusted to their wishes and feedback.
5. He stayed the course, ever demonstrating tenacity and focus.
6. He maintained energy and enthusiasm (you should've seen him persuade people to buy these fabulous rocks). And when the energy waned, he stopped! No workaholism for this little sales guy.
7. And he asked for the order.

Next week I expect him to ask us for referrals and introductions. Stay tuned.